My heart never will speak Good Bye !!

I'll be leaving very soon, it's so fast I can't even imagine, I'm gonna have a new start !! I'm gonna miss all my beloved friends very much ...they are like a family to me ...I will never wanna say Good Bye but I will only say I'll be back and we will say hello again.I'll be heading to Australia very soon, it's on february the 4th, and I'm leaving all my memories behind ... I know it's not like I am leaving forever but I still have feelings and I miss all the memories I had, both Good and bad because it made me - The one and only me and I am proud maybe not completely but at least more than half??

My life was pretty dull when I was a teen, seriously pretty dull, hated who I was, Din't know who I was ....Perhaps I was diagnosed with "indentity crisis disorder" but come to think about it now, I'm laughing softly how stupid I could be . Things are all fine now

I thank God very much, because he made me met all of you guys, all of you!!, the friends that I knew, because I have always prayed for a best-friend or rather a group of good friends and guess what ?? He answered my prayer and I am delighted ....i'm sorry my dear friends, if i have done anything wrong, annoying or anything that have caused you to feel uneasy about -I'll take this chance to say I'm SORRY .

My journey of what a life really meant only officially started after I was 16 and there were up and downs and I am very happy I am only leaving when it's heading UP ( right NOW).

I wanna say I love you to all of you, well firstly to my form 4 and 5 bff, thanks for making my life normal again, I understand what is it to be a normal teenager, thank you for accepting me, I love you guys!!!

Daniel chen, I don't know where you are right now, but I wanna take this opportunity to thank you, for being my best friend for 2 years, though we been through some very hard times, but I'll always remeber you as my brother man ....hit me back sumtimes if you are reading this ??

And I wanna thank God alot for my current BFF Colleen Oh Mun Miin, we been through everything together since form 5, thank you for being there for me , though I hated you sometimes because you were so annoying and ignorant but deep now in my heart I know I love you and we need each other...Thank you so much ok ?? Thank you so much for being there for me , even though I'm fat and ugly, even I'm not normal, even if i stinks ...LOL thanks

And also along my journey of being a complicated teenager, I met some other awesome group of friends, what is it called again ??? LOL ...it's the psycho-gang , I'm so glad we met each other ...a sound of applause to EDDY !!! You guys made me who I was today, Me myself and I'm very proud of that ...Thank you so much for spending this awesome 2 years from 18 -20 years old of mine with me, I really appreciate it alot and muchy muchy !!! I don't know what other word to descrice you all, but all i know is - I'm so grateful I met you guys, because you guys are a very important phase in my life ( I know i'm not leaving the earth) but i'm justt afraid things might change and it will never be the same again ??

Last but not least, My college mates ...Thank you so much !!! You guys are the best-uni mate I ever had ...I LOVE KDU/MURDOCH !!!

And if I happened to miss out any of you guys, You know I love you very much !!!

Here are some crazy moments I'll always keep a space in my heart ......

We might say Good Bye, But my heart will never do....See you guys soon !!!

I want a change !!

I have been pretty low-self esteem lately, constantly complaining about my height, my looks and every other thing I can thought of. Frankly speaking, it's makes me feel exhausted and hopeless/lifeless however I can't stop having all this thoughts...it's like a videotape repeating

My height have been a really constant and recent issue I have been stuck with, not sure why though but I can't stop helping myself not to think about it and start telling myself I look just fine standing just 169cm. I'm really devastated by this issue...it makes me wanna abuse myself ( I have thought of being really fat and ugly because I hated myself or ratherjust confine myself at home so I wouldn't have to face the world ) I just felt really different from who I was or used to be !!

I want a change, I need a change ...I want to be who I used to be. The fabulous gorgeuous charming smiley Nick Seow !!! I am not going to let this "shortness issue" conquer my youthful journey ....Screw it !! I'm gonna CHANGE

Just wait and SEE !!!